Queer Asian Mental health
If you are reading this, you are probably navigating the intersectional experience of being queer and Asian whether you live in a country where both you and your ancestors are from or live in the west like me. The month of May is both mental health awareness month and Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage month. There is no more fitting time than now to discuss this: Queer Asian mental health.
There is no textbook out there that tells you how you can navigate your life as a young queer Asian person. We all know the research by now that the leading cause of death for young Asian Americans is not cancer or auto accidents; it is suicide. When you add the queer factor into equation, the risk of suicide for queer Asian Americans increases exponentially.
As queer Asian Americans, you not only deal with the model minority myth, but you also deal with the Asian standard of heteronormativity. You can’t quite fit into neither the queer community nor the Asian American community. What I have observed over the past 6 years of being a therapist is that many queer Asian Americans choose not to pursue relationships with other Asian Americans and often compartmentalize their Asian and queer identities.
Queer Asian Americans often do not feel at home in none of the places that they are supposed to belong: America, the queer community, and the Asian American communities. Especially with the alarming rate of hate crimes against the AAPI communities due to COVID-19 and spending more time with family members who are not supportive their queer identities, queer Asian Americans are struggling not only with their mental health, but also with their relationship health.
Here are some of the ways you can start feeling a bit at home:
First, get connected to the small queer Asian communities around you. I don’t recommend joining big communities with thousands of members if you are just beginning this journey. A great way to go about this is to contact a local LGBTQ+ center or find a small group on Facebook to join. If you are from a small town and have no access to other queer Asians, you can always utilize virtual support groups.
PFLAG (is a nation-wide organization with many chapters in different cities. Find your chapter via the link!)
Second, get connected to a queer Asian therapist or a queer organization that can give you the space to be who you are without the burden of educating them. Here are some you can have on your list:
Therapy for Queer Asians (Telehealth in WA and CA)
Rainbow Connection Counseling Collective (Telehealth in WA and CA)
Yellow Chair Collective - Queer Affirming Asian American Psychotherapy (Telehealth in CA)
Ginger Klee Psychotherapy Services (Telehealth in CA)
Asian Mental Health Collective (You can find AAPI therapists in the U.S. and Canada)
API Equality (Los Angeles, CA)
Asian Pacific Islander Queer Women & Transgender Community
Vietnamese Rainbow of Orange County (VROC)
Third, have 2-3 friends you can contact when you are in crisis. Don’t be alone when you are going through a difficult time. Nothing can make you feel more out of control in crisis than being alone. Let people know that you are having a hard time. Life happens and when no one is available, contact:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - (800)273-8255
Trans Lifeline Hotline - (877)565-8860 (US)
Trevor Project - (866)488-7386
All the queer Asians who are reading this, show up as you are. Know that you are enough. Your existence does not need an explanation. Your worth or the worth of your relationship is not determined by the Asian standard of heteronormativity. Find your ally whether it be a family member or friend. Keep telling your story. It is better for your story to exist imperfectly than for it to be erased.
Love,
Dr. Wonbin